It's like scratching a mosquito bite. You know you shouldn't do it. But it feels better for a little while. It just itches SO BAD. Ugh.
You know that thing that happens, it's different for everyone. Something happens, someone hurts you, or embarrasses you or really ticks you off. And you just keep talking about it. You call all your girls and talk for an hour with each one about how horrible it is. Scratch, scratch scratch. It's so wrong but it feels so good. Why can't things just go the way you want? Why can't she just change?! Why can't I have my way? And it just keeps getting bigger.
Listen to what I have to say and agree and feel sympathy and tell me how wonderful I am. Scratch, scratch.
All of this righteous indignation. It feels so good for the moment, but all the while you're bleeding. Festering. I don't want to go into too much detail but lets just say there is bacteria involved.
That small mosquito bite turns into a huge disgusting sore. Ugh I hate the word sore, ick. Don't get me wrong. That mosquito was totally wrong for biting you. It's no fun. Scratch, scratch.
Anyone else know what I'm talking about? Or am I the only one with huge mellow-drama and a bad attitude? I probably am (oh wait am I now being dramatic about my drama??)
Why do we fight it? Why do we push Him away in times like this?
One word. Sacrifice.
Because you already know there is going to be a measure of sacrifice, of surrender. You're going to have to give something up. That temporary gratification of knowing your right and having everyone agree with you and having your ego and pride all puffed up, it can feel so good for just a second. It feels good until you hang up. And then you're alone. With just Him. And the Holy Spirit. And They are working on your heart so hard core. And you know, no matter how justified you are, you can't hold onto it.
Just let go....
You know you should. Let go of that hurt, of that injustice, of that pain, of that excuse, of that justification...of that unforgiveness. I cringe at the word.
Let go of that power and pride and self-ness. Is it really what you want?
You're better then that. You are called to a higher standard. There's a beautiful story, a wonderful ending and that stuff is not worth it. Not even for a day. Not even for an hour. Not even for one phone call just to feel right.
Because your not. Not really. Not if you love Him. It's not about being right or wrong. It's all about love. Sounds cheesy I know. If you're in Him and in His love how can you walk out anything that's not love? How can you possibly feel right about anything when you are really nothing?
Isn't it beautiful that He doesn't let us stay there? In Nothing land?
Come to Me all you who are weary. Come to Me all you brokenhearted and heavy laden. I'm here in that darkness. I'm hear with you. Let Me carry that for you. Let Me be everything to you. Drink from this Cup and you will never thirst again.