I have had to make so many decisions lately, or at least I thought so. So many life altering things have been happening all around me lately, and I've had to come to a complete stand still and ask, "Is this really Your will?"
Truthfully, my relationship with the Lord has never been better. I've never felt this close to Him in my life. Never have I been so willing to do His will. The problem is I've been doubting my ability to hear from Him.
"Is that really You God?"
"What should I do?"
"Is that just my own crazy voice in my head?"
I've felt frustrated.
"Lord I'll do anything, anything, I just want to do what You want me to do."
But it hasn't been clear.
And I've been confused.
Anyone else been there? You just want to do the right thing. Even when you don't know what that is you at least don't want to do the wrong thing. And when there is no clear path, which way do you go?
Today I was reminded though, that it is His job to make it clear. He's responsible for making Himself heard.
Let that blow up in your mind for a second.
He wants you to hear from Him and He will get louder, and louder until you do. He will always make Himself known and heard. He always has. He always will. It's my job to do what He says. And if I'm willing then I don't have to worry.
The Bible is full of plenty of examples of Him sending warning after warning and direction after direction and plenty of times where He made Himself completely and utterly clear. He even went so far as to send His Son, Who fulfilled like a gazillion prophesies, to get His point across. The Word is also full of examples of times when His people did not listen. They weren't willing to hear. They weren't willing to bend to His Word. They listened to others and followed them instead. They didn't silence every other voice and follow after Him. But He never failed them.
He was faithful.
Can I trust that?
Can I trust that if He wants me to do something or to tell me something that He will make Himself heard?
The answer for me is undoubtedly "YES!" I do trust Him.
Do I trust myself? *sigh*
Let's cut ourselves a break shall we? Can we just drop the weight of worry and self doubt? Can we allow Him to carry our burdens, even when it means trusting Him with our own ability to hear Him when He speaks? He loves us. He really, really, REALLY loves us. He doesn't want us to go the wrong way any more then we want to.
Today I chose to not worry about the decisions. Today I choose to trust Him with the answer. Today I choose to trust Him to tell me the answer. And to keep telling me the answer if I don't hear it the first time...or the second time. Today I trust Him to be there if I fail. To catch me if I fall. To love me when I'm unlovable. I trust Him to be faithful.