Monday, January 2, 2012

Just Look Up

"No." It's his new favorite word. My sweet, charming, lover boy, Bret Michael Holt now tells his mommy no with a little added shake of the head. *sigh* It was bound to happen right?

I walked into the kitchen. I found him sitting on the floor with his snack swaying back and forth to the music coming from my laptop. Super cute. I put my hands out to him to come. I wanted to smooch him and spin around with him in a dance all our own.

"No," he says.

He thinks I want him to just get out of the kitchen instead of pick him up. Of course that's gotta be why he told me no, the kid loves being held. Surely if he knew all I wanted was to hold him he'd come right over.

I walk a little closer and put my hands out to him again.

"No" more had shaking.

I walk even closer until I'm right in front of him. He looks up at me with those big blue eyes and smiles. I put my hands out to him again and he realizes that all I want is to hold him. He stands right up with his arms lifted high. I grab him and smother his face in kisses. We twirl around and he laughs.

I love that kid.

Oh Father. If your children only knew.

He stands at the door of our hearts. Arms extended for us to come to Him. We tell Him no because we think He wants us to do something. We think He wants us to get up, clean ourselves up, change, be better, do all the work to come to Him, for Him to chastise us for doing something wrong.

He comes closer. And closer still. If we only knew the truth about His intentions. They are not to get on to us like Bret thought. They are to simply pick us up and hold us close. To spin us around in a dance meant only for us.

It hit me so hard. That thought. As I scooped Bret up it was like He was saying, "I've been here all along. Arms wide, hands extended to you. My heart is open to you. I only want you. I want to love you and hold you and hear your laugh and see your smile."

That is all. He's not standing far from us, beckoning us to come to Him. All He's saying is, "Look up. I'm here. I'm here already." 

So if He seems far, perhaps He's closer then you think. If it seems like all He wants is to make you feel guilty or call you to obedience and you tell Him no with a stubborn shake of your head, just look up. See if He's not standing there waiting.

*I took this when I was in Panama. Those eyes still cut through to my heart.