Thursday, July 7, 2011

Whispers in the Wind

I was having a pretty rough morning. My schedule got totally messed up from the very beginning and I thought that was why everything was getting thrown off. I've felt frustrated, and even angry. I've seen something in myself today that I haven't liked. There has been no patience and no peace. The little things were getting under my skin, which means big trouble when you are taking care of four small children because "the little things" are numerous. I did, however, manage to get all 4 kids down for naps at the same time, so I tried to lay down and take a nap myself. To be quite frank I laid down feeling absolutely disgusted with myself for the way I had completely lost my temper and shouted at my daughter earlier. Even though I apologized to her and we had reconciled I still felt really tense. As I was replaying my actions in my mind I felt the brush of wind on my shoulder. (I'd love to say it was from the cool breeze wafting from the open window but seeing as how it's above 100 out right now, it was from my husband's bedside fan.) I felt the gentle nudging of God's presence in that moment. I felt a release and a cry for forgiveness came to my lips. It was like smoke rising from my spirit and being wafted away by God's grace and mercy in the wind. His cool breath dried my tears and showed me the way. He showed me the lie I believed, that I needed to be in control of every situation to not be afraid, and He showed me the truth. That He's holding me in the palm of His hand and in that space I have no control but where else would I rather be? What do I have to fear while in His embrace?

Your love never fails.

Have you ever been down a country road like the one I grew up by, where the trees are so often swept to one side by the wind that even when there is no wind they are at an angle? 
 
They're roots have to go down deep for them not to fall over and the wind is such a constant that the limbs grow that way. Millimeter by millimeter. Day by day.

Let me be like that tree. With deep roots in His Word and long strong limbs that are flexible and bend in the wind of His breath. That even those who can not see the wind still see the effect it has on me.