Sunday, May 20, 2012

Spinning Out of Control?

A while back I had this dream that I was dancing. I kept spinning away from my partner but he kept pulling me in. It felt almost like a tug-of-war. In and out. Back and forth. Our hands never let go but I kept spinning and spinning. He never lost his grip on my hand. Round and round the dance floor we went. Spinning in and out. Over and over.

I woke up wondering what all that was about. The feeling stayed with me a few days. I prayed for a revelation but really didn't get anything until, during a worship service, I remembered the dream. I felt like my partner was definitely the Father, and His grip stuck out to me the most. He never let me go. I was just confused by all the spinning about. I did think it was interesting that I didn't notice His grip so much until I was the furthest away. Our arms were stretched out but His hand was locked with mine. I knew He had me.

I thought how true this is in life sometimes. We don't notice Him so much until we need Him desperately to hold onto us. When I feel the furthest from Him and I feel stretched and out of reach I just have to remember that it's in these moments He takes the opportunity to show me just how tight His grip on me is. He's not letting go. He pulls me back into His loving embrace. As comforting as it is though, I forget about that firm grasp He has on me until, once again I spin away.

I experienced an out-of-control spinning moment last night. I was searching through the scripture. Frantically trying to find some comfort, I stumbled across this Psalm. It's interesting too because I rarely read The Message translation but happened to last night.

Psalm 119:75-76 MSG
I can see now, God , that your decisions are right; your testing has taught me what's true and right. Oh, love me—and right now!—hold me tight! just the way you promised. Now comfort me so I can live, really live; your revelation is the tune I dance to. 

Pretty incredible, eh? I love that David demanded God's attention sometimes. I think God loves that. He loves it when we boldly ask for more of His love and right now! I can totally see how those times I've spun away from Him I often learned He was right all along. But like David, I want to cry out for His comfort and love in that very moment. The moment I realize I screwed up or have lost interest in Him or wandered away I want Him to pull me back in. Hold me tight! I want to truly live and dance to His revelation tune.

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