Ever had one of those hair pulling, scream out loud, make you want to cuss, foot stomping, fist pounding days?
What do you do when that happens? I'm still learning how to handle these times like a mature Christian adult woman and not like my 3 year old. But I gotta say, it's hard! After fighting the urge to rant and vent on Facebook or call my friend and rage about the injustice of it all, not too mention doing all the things I mentioned above, what do I do with all this negative energy?? I'm sure there are lots of books out there on how to handle "those" days. They probably recommend finding an outlit, a way to displace all that negative energy into something positive, like doing things like yoga, meditation, taking a walk, or keeping busy with a hobby like gardening or wood working or, I don't know say, blogging. And those are all well and good and I do plan to go pull some weeds in a bit after I'm done blogging. But I'm really trying to discover how I can stop and in, not just those disappointing moments or moments of heart break, but also times of frustration and even joy and let the Father breathe life into every part of the situation and my heart. I want to share every aspect of my life with Him.
Warning: Rabbit Trail Ahead:
How does He do it? How does He love us so? We are such a frustrating species! Sheesh, I mean really. I feel like generally speaking I'm a pretty loving, forgiving, good natured person. It's in my personality to go with the flow, take life as it comes, not stress about things. I'm usually not easily angered and just being a parent has taught me sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo *deep breath* sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo so so so much patience. AND YET, still I find myself so frustrated at times with people. And I know I must really frustrate people too. A LOT. And by people of course I mean my husband. So HOW does The Father do it? Just love us despite it all? I want to be more like Him in this area. I want to love people even when they are frustrating.
Choking back my sentiment, I refrain from blasting on Facebook or from gossip. Instead, I fall humbly in worship. And in that weak and vulnerable moment, I know He sees me. He sees my heart. He sees my frustration. He sees the injustice. But He also sees my own weakness. And He doesn't blast me. He doesn't shame me for my judgement or lack of compassion or understanding. He doesn't expose my own lack of consideration for people at times. He just loves me. In that moment The Spirit comforts me and breathes peace on my soul. I no longer feel the need for retribution. Forgiveness comes easy. Can I learn to walk in such grace all the time? Can't this be my initial response? It can be so hard sometimes to choose to die to your own desires and instead choose to be more like Him. But the more we offer up of ourselves the more He gives back of all that He is. The more like Him we are the more we gain in the end.
Sure there are times when the truth, spoken in love needs to be said. Absolutely. But this can't be done out of our own sense of what righteousness is or our own desire for justice or retribution. It must come from a place of true compassion and true forgiveness and yes, relationship; if speaking the truth only makes YOU feel better it's probably best left unsaid at the moment. Trust Pappa to be the one to handle it in His own way in His own timing.
It's amazing what just being in His presence can do. My frustration was totally deflated and my attitude totally changed. It might sound too easy but Jesus is really the answer to every problem. Re-calibrating, bringing Him back to the center of my focus, of my life is how I can handle stress, frustration, disappointment, injustice, and even success and blessing. He is the well from which we can draw out every resource. We do not have to be dependent on our own ability for self-control or patience and thank God for that! Because I'd be a screaming, head banging, foot stomping, fist pounding lunatic right now.