Bret Michael Holt. My Gift. He gives me so much blogger inspiration. Or really I guess he helps me see more clearly the way God looks at me. And that's really what this blog is all about. Yesterday I gave him a big smooch on his chubby, nearly edible, cheeks. I do that every chance I get, but this one time yesterday I felt that whisper across my heart like the Father was trying to tell me something. I was listening and after I kissed Bret, he of course wanted to kiss me.
Ah, those big, open mouthed, slobbery kisses I suppose only a mother could love. And I do. Then he looks me straight in they eyes. When he was a baby we would stare into each other's eyes and every now and then, even from across the room, he will lock eyes with me again for at least 10 seconds and we'll just smile. (AH! I love that kid!) So he does this again after he gives me the biggest, wettest, smooch and says I yuv you. Oh! What's a mother to do?! Of course I melt and would gladly give him anything he ever wanted. *sigh*
Now, I know in my mind that he tells me he loves me because he is constantly hearing me say, "I love you." Just like he copies everything his brother and sister say I know he's really just copying me because every time I kiss him I tell him I love him. It's natural for him to do the same. I'm not saying he doesn't love me or even that at this young age he doesn't know how to express it. He's learning. I'm teaching him. He's following my example.
During this exchange when this thought struck me that old song also came to mind. Because He first loved us. What a beautiful picture this is of the Father's love.
We love Him because He first loved us. This is how we know what love is, for love is from God (1 John 4:7). Do you know how He teaches us? I don't think it's much different then how I teach my children to love. I tell them. I kiss them. I say it over and over. Eventually they say it back because they are at that repeating stage. But somehow they start to get it that those words are more then just words. They mean something. Something hard to describe but they know it's good. It's exactly the way He's taught me. He's told me over and over in so many ways, through people, through good gifts, through unique situations that only are special to me, little kisses if you will. He demonstrates His own love (Romans 5:8). I didn't get it as easily as my children. I didn't believe it at first. I wasn't sure I could trust is. That didn't bother Him. He just kept saying it. He just kept showing me.
Oh, what joy He must get when we finally start copying Him! You know when your babies are at that stage, when they first smile, when they first say your name, that first time they say I love you. How special is it that first time they say I love you on their own with out you saying it first? Don't you just want to melt?! And we know He loves it when we love on one another. And if God is love then when we love one another God is there. He's in our love. Isn't that cool?! You want to find God? Just start loving on someone. What a beautiful King. My heart is full. I want to lock eyes with Him and smile and say I love you too.
The other interesting thought I had about my son is that whenever he wants my attention and I'm distracted, say when I'm trying to blog, for example. He waddles over and looks right at me and smiles or does something cute. If I still don't pay attention he'll put his hand on my arm to get me to stop typing or climb up next to me. Sometimes he even puts his chubby little hand on my cheek and moves my face to his. And he smiles, triumphant! Normally then, he jumps into my lap and laughs with delight. I think to myself how in someways when we pray or when we love Him it's like we're pulling at His arm or turning His face to ours. When we love Him we have His attention. We draw near to Him and He draws near to us. He goes deeper with those who want to go deeper.
Let's pull on Him today. He's never too distracted and He is always ready to say I love you.