I love hearing my friends say, "Hey, you need to blog about that!" This particular time we were talking about how awesome it is we don't have the same religious thoughts we did when we were younger. We shared about how we used to think God kept a running tally of our mistakes. That if we had a bad day, a flat tire, a cold, or locked ourselves out of the house, it was because we had been bad and we deserved it. I never really thought God was sitting at the edge of His throne with a thunder bolt waiting to strike like some do. I did believe He couldn't love me if I did wrong.
This is going to sound strange to some, I'm sure, but bare with me. I think part of my problem boiled down to pride. My sin made me feel bad on the inside. It separated me from Him but instead of humbling myself and surrendering it to Him, which, in my mind would take way too much effort, I told myself I wasn't worthy to be in His presence. I wasn't good enough to lift my hands in praise. The other part was that I truly didn't believe He could love me.
I'll never forget during a praise and worship service Him speaking so clearly to my heart that no matter what, He was always worthy. He is. No matter how horribly sinful I've been it doesn't change the fact that He's the creator of the universe and sacrificed it all for me. He's worthy. He's always worthy of my praise. Even when I blame Him for the hurt or pain I feel. He's worthy. Even when I don't understand or agree with His ways. He's worthy. The truth is, it's not really about me. Shocker I know. My circumstances don't change Him. We could flip this all around and also say none of my efforts make me any more deserving of His love either. He doesn't change.
Looking back now I can't believe I ever felt this way but I know so many people still do. Whether you hang back outside of true relationship with Him because you are angry with Him or because you think you are unworthy, I'm talking to you when I say He. Is. Worthy. Always. Sometimes it can be so hard to just let go of all of our thoughts but when you put them in His perspective whatever it is that holds you back is nothing compared to what He thinks of you. Anger, shame, pride, or pain are no excuse to withhold from Him. It's not about you or me. Every breath we take is a gift. Every day we live is evidence in His hope for us. Hope that tomorrow we'll trust Him more, hope that we'll surrender more, hope that He'll be able to love us in ways we never would allow before.
33-36Have you ever come on
anything quite like this extravagant generosity of God, this deep, deep
wisdom? It's way over our heads. We'll never figure it out.
Is there anyone around who can explain God?
Anyone smart enough to tell him what to do?
Anyone who has done him such a huge favor
that God has to ask his advice?
Everything comes from him;
Everything happens through him;
Everything ends up in him.
Always glory! Always praise!
Yes. Yes. Yes.
So whatever it is, that thing that keeps you from His presence Sunday morning during praise and worship or from talking to Him throughout the week, it's worth is nothing compared to His. He's so worthy.