Thursday, August 4, 2011

Day 4- Lover or Prostitute

Today I went to a sort of, well for lack of a better word, "christian" conference. I really enjoyed it despite not wearing makeup. Honestly, it was probably the best place to be. I mean the guy on stage had a full beard and long hair. How more accepting can ya get? It was still really hard to be introduced to people I'll most likely meet again and have their first impression be of me free of makeup. Although if you asked them they'd probably say it was the best way to be introduced for the first time. I'm starting to accept this aspect of myself that I never had before. Starting to believe beauty is more then skin deep even though I've heard that and knew it to be true. Not that I'm some "beauty" but you know what I mean. Nothing I do to my outward appearance changes my heart.

Matt 7 NASB
18 A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit. 19Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 So then, you will know them by their fruits.

I came across a really interesting article and got totally inspired. Here's a bit of it (although mostly reworded to fit with my thoughts and my beliefs.) I believe that most American Christians do not know God–much less love Him. The root of this condition originates in how we came to God. Most of us came to Him because of what we were told He would do for us. We were promised that He would bless us in life and take us to heaven after death. We married Him for His money, and we don’t care if He lives or dies as long as we can get His stuff. We have made the Kingdom of God into a business, merchandising His anointing. This should not be. We are commanded to love God, that’s pretty intimate stuff. We are supposed to be His lovers. How can we love someone we don’t even know? And even if we do know someone, is that a guarantee that we truly love them?
This got me thinking... Are we lovers or prostitutes? 
What’s the difference between a lover and a prostitute? Both do many of the same things, but a lover does what she does because she loves. A prostitute pretends to love, but only as long as you pay. What would happen if God stopped paying me?

I want to allow God to search me to uncover my motives for loving and serving Him. Am I really a true lover of God? What would happen if He stopped blessing me? What if He never did another thing for me? Would I still love Him? The issue here is not whether God blesses His children; the issue is the condition of my heart. Why do I serve Him? Are His blessings in my life the gifts of a loving Father, or are they a wage that I have earned or a bribe/payment to love Him? Do I love God without any conditions? I wonder if my desire to love God is always matched by my attitude and behavior. I still catch myself being disappointed with God and angry that He has not met some perceived need in my life. I suspect this is something which is never fully resolved, but I want more than anything else to be a true lover of God.

So what is it going to be? 

Which are we, lover or prostitute? There are no prostitutes in heaven, or in the Kingdom of God for that matter, but there are plenty of former prostitutes in both places. Take it from a recovering prostitute when I say there is no substitute for unconditional, intimate relationship with God. We must choose. And we can't make the choice for anyone else.

Ironically enough I've often thought how thankful I am not to have been born in the age when "makeup" was what prostitutes wore. Not that I thought I would have been a prostitute but have often figured I would have been some chamber maid, never noticed by the prince. Even as I type that last sentence I completely loose my train of thought because I know I have truly been seen by the King...Wow...Humbled...

 Matt 7 NASB
21 “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter. 22 Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?’ 23 And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; DEPART FROM ME, YOU WHO PRACTICE LAWLESSNESS.’

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