I think it's safe to say I definitely tip to the side of super spirituality on a scale from non-spiritual to extremely spiritual. I've often been concerned that this comes across really weird to most people. Even in this blog I see a pattern. I don't believe in coincidences and I look for God in everything...all the time. If this makes me super spiritual or wacky to some, well, so be it. I often struggle with the "reality" or lack there of, in this life. I recently had a couple of "super spiritual" experiences that have made me even more aware of just how fragile, and temporary this part of our life is. It's put everything in perspective. It's also put me in a bit of a funk. I can't explain it. It's like seeing life in technicolor and then going back to black and white.
I'm hungry for You, Lord. My love is Yours, You are my heart's desire. I live to know You more, God.
I often feel like I'm being a bit bizarre, a bit like my head is "stuck in the clouds." Even though I feel self conscious about this at times it doesn't really change anything. A friend recently reminded me that "aren't we supposed to be more spiritual anyway? Shouldn't more of us be that way? If you're super spirituality is over the top then it only evens the rest of us out." And then I think, "Yeah, that's right." It's not me, it's all of you duds. Haha, only kidding. I know a lot of us "in the clouds" crazy people get ourselves into trouble with all our out of this world thinking. But right now I'm really struggling with being grounded after floating on the clouds. Thankfully I really, really love the Bible. I really love it. It's the only book I know of that can be read over and over again, the same paragraph, and come a live every time with deeper and more powerful meaning. And it is my firm foundation.
It's in reading the Word that I find comfort for my struggle, which is kind of the point right?? Romans 8 (again I know) NASB
9 However, you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. But if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Him. 10 If Christ is in you, though the body is dead because of sin, yet the spirit is alive because of righteousness. 11 But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you. 12 So then, brethren, we are under obligation, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh— 13 for if you are living according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live. 14 For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. 15 For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!” 16 The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him.
So I'm not so crazy after all. It's so good to know (I did seriously doubt it). My spirit has been brought to life and my flesh is dead. This body is dead. This life is not all there is. I am a "son of God" and so it's perfectly understandable that all I would want to do is cry "Father!" The Spirit Himself testifies with my spirit. Can you imagine? No wonder my feet lift off the ground when I think of it. How can you think of anything else?
Draw my heart to Yours, O God. Set my heart on fire. Hold my heart in love. Let Your presence over take my heart. Overwhelm me. Sweep me away.....