Tuesday, July 5, 2011

I'm All In

A while back one of the pastor's at my church suggested that God is like the ocean. His waves of love and mercy wash over us, one after the other. Constant. Faithful. Never-ending. He's deeper and bigger then we can imagine. Immeasurable.
I saw myself, as he was describing this, standing next to the ocean. Walking towards it. Letting the water lap at my toes...and of course I shrieked! And ran. I went to a beach one time with my family and it reminded me a lot of my experience there. It was warm outside, nice sunny day. We assumed the water would be warm. I ran and jumped in. The water was freezing! I think that's how some view God. Having this expectation of being let down. Looks good, sounds good, but being afraid of being disappointed. They see this raging tidal wave ready to crash into them. They are afraid of all the unknowns. How can we trust in something we do not understand? I think for some it's one step at a time, one little toe at a time. Letting your body get used to letting go. Getting used to the water slowly. That's OK God doesn't mind proving Himself to us. He draws us lovingly to Himself. Although for some, like myself, it's been a giant leap of faith. A dive into the unknown. Letting Him pull me down deeper, with my clothes on and all, He takes me just as I am.. There have been times I have been afraid and have had to kick back up to the surface. His love is a raging sea after all. But as I lay, floating on the surface, feeling Him, constant. His heart beats for me. He pulls me in, washes over me. He washes away all my doubts, all my fears. I let myself sink deeper. I take a deep breath and let the water slip over my head. I'm drowning in His love, in His grace.

Sweep me away oh God. Sweep me away. Let me never reach the bottom of Your goodness.

I stumbled across this poem. Love it.

Communion with God by Joseph Law
In the depths of my soul, I cried, “God … Oh, God!”
I want nothing but you, beloved Creator of all
You’re the father and I’m the child
You’re the master and I’m the servant
You’re the creator and I’m the created
You’re the musician and I’m the instrument
Let me appreciate you in the beauty of nature
In a smile and in the love of an innocent child
Let me experience your omnipresence
So that I can worship you in every form
Let me reciprocate your love for me
And manifest the Kingdom of Heaven on earth
Help me see through the deception of form and duality
Help me see that in the absence of falsehood there is truth
Help me see that what lies before me is nothing compared to what lies within me
Should we not attune with your will,
Then why should we live?
Should we not live according to your laws,
Then why should we breathe?
Should we not appreciate that true romance is with you,
Then why should we worship the human form?
Let me live in the world
But not be of the world
Let thy will be done!