$1 Jeans

No this is not a Craigslist add. I want to tell you how really cool my God is.

Today I was at Wal-Mart. I was just picking up some random things, light bulbs, diapers, ect. I walked by the women's department and was thinking about how I desperately need some new jeans. Gone are the days that I spend 70-80 bucks on jeans (that money now goes to pay for things like plumbers to remove baby spoons out of garbage disposals). You see I've lost quite a bit of weight since my 3rd child was born, which is really awesome, but nothing fits and with two kids in diapers a new wardrobe just isn't in the budget. So I'm reminding God about all these things while skimming the clearance rack. Eh nothing there. I move on to the more expensive section and pick out about 4 different pairs. None of them are anything super amazing but like I said, I'm desperate. Only one pair was without a price tag and I thought to myself "of course these will be the only pair that fit and end up being out of my price range." I tried them all on asking the Lord to step in, in some way. A coupon would have been nice. Anyway of course priceless pants are the ones I like best. I asked the lady for the price. She typed in the numbers and on the little screen pops up the numbers 1.00. I was confused and said. "Does that say 1 dollar?"

"Yep." She says and she smiles.

What?! As in American Dollars? Yep. And in that moment I knew that God loved me. Haha. Can't explain it. Might sound silly to some but I just know I'm His favorite.

He showed me again how special I am to Him and how big He is. I'm sure those pants were originally marked a lot higher then a single dollar. Yet somehow that's how much I paid for them. He's in the details. If you doubt that come check out my brand new, stinking awesome pair of pants. I'm going to remember what He did for me every time I see them. Every time I wear them I'm going to know He provides and He really is freakin' awesome.

Fairy Godmother's Got Nothing on Him

"Dance with Me," He said.

But I'm nothing.

He whispered my name, "Dance with me."
  “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine! (Is 43:1)


He chose me.
   ^"You did not choose Me but I chose you..." (John 15:16)

He. Saw. Me. In the deep, dark pit that I was in. So deep and black no light from the opening penetrated my darkness. But darkness is nothing to Him so He saw me, filthy, weeping in fear and despair.
   Even the darkness is not dark to You, And the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to You. (Psalm 139:12)


He reached in and pulled me out. All on His own He did this. He did not wait for me to see Him, or reach out to Him. With a tender, loving hand, full of compassion, He gently wrapped His arms around me and brought me up.

"Dance with me." He said.

But I'm a mess.

And so He washed over me. Like a wave. And made me new. I sparkled in the light of His love.

"Dance with me."

But I'm not worthy.

And so He made me His. He gave me a new dress and called me His daughter. His princess.
  For He has clothed me with garments of salvation, He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness (Is 61:10)

He cries. "Dance with me."

Yes, for His tears softened my heart and I could not resist Him. After all I was made for loving Him. He swept me up and away and we danced.

Psalm 119:72
With your very own hands you formed me;
      now breathe your wisdom over me so I can understand you.
   When they see me waiting, expecting your Word,
      those who fear you will take heart and be glad.
   I can see now, God, that your decisions are right;
      your testing has taught me what's true and right.
   Oh, love me—and right now!—hold me tight!
      just the way you promised.
   Now comfort me so I can live, really live;
      your revelation is the tune I dance to.

This Beautiful Dream

I'm sure the fact that the last few days all I've been hearing about is hope and being anchored in hope and that we can put our hope in God has nothing to do with this dream I had last night. Haha ;)

(I was planning on sharing this but now that I'm writing it, it's like "wow this makes me feel totally vulnerable and this dream is not HALF as wild as my normal ones!")

I was on a ship. An old looking one like you see in the history books or movies. It was huge and had sails. There was a storm and I was literally being tossed too and fro. The weird thing about this all is that I knew it wasn't real. I wasn't afraid because I somehow had a sense that it was all a dream. And in my dream I asked the Lord what was going on. The wind and the rain were like temptation flying around my head: falling out of patience, anger, depression, worry, lack of self-control. The boat and the ocean were my life's circumstances. He said "Run to the anchor." Not walk, not stumble, but get up and run. And so I did. When I found it, the anchor was already let out into the ocean. All that I saw was the chain. It was HUGE. I couldn't even wrap one hand around one side of the link. It represented Christ. He said "hold onto Me." And I did. And I woke up.

A couple of things I'm taking away from this is that first of all, the anchor was already let down (at least I got something right). Sometimes it doesn't feel like it. Sometimes in our circumstance we don't see Him. We don't experience Him or see the influence He has on our storm. But He's there. If you've welcomed Him into your life He's there. Next? You have to run to Him. It's not enough to just be on the boat. To just ride it out. Run to Him.

The scripture quoted to us so often at the women's retreat I just attended was this one, and I think it's totally appropriate this morning.

Hebrews 6 MSG

^18-20We who have run for our very lives to God have every reason to grab the promised hope with both hands and never let go. It's an unbreakable spiritual lifeline, reaching past all appearances right to the very presence of God where Jesus, running on ahead of us, has taken up his permanent post as high priest for us, in the order of Melchizedek.

Hulk-Up

Has it really been a week since my last post? Wow that's a first. I've had a bit of writer's block I guess. It's not that there hasn't been anything inspiring going on around me, I've just been overwhelmed lately. I've been brought low in my circumstances and it has been all I can do to encourage myself and walk with the Lord. Guess there hasn't been enough to go around.

Which brings me to my blog post today. I've been a big fat baby. Seriously! I finally woke up out of my daze and realized "Hey! This life, this relationship with God, this hope thing, it's work sometimes!" I gotta get busy.

My thoughts are a bit muddled right now so let me do my best to explain. In many areas of my life, all along the way I've wanted God to be my magic genie and step in, snap His fingers and save the day. You know what? He has saved the day but rarely has it happened like that. It takes work on my part too. When I was in the deepest darkest pit, living fear, He stepped in, scooped me up and brought light to my life. But it was a daily process and took a lot of effort on my part too. Prayer, and lots of it. Trust, by the bucket loads. And now I'm learning about hope.

In my discipleship group hope has been one of the main topics and in the women's retreat I just attended it was the theme. I don't want to go all into that here but the main thing I discovered was that just like everything else, I have to do something. Wallowing in self-pity or self-whatever and crying out "Why God?" isn't enough. I know He hears my cry and He has mercy and favor for me but He's called me to do something too.

The bottom line? Nothing I've gone through is anything compared to what Christ went through for me. It's like He called to me this weekend "Man up girl!" Man up in Him. He's the man. I needed a spiritual "Hulk-up" so to speak.

Hebrews 12 MSG
^1-3Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls! 


Discipline is a long distance race. You gotta come prepared and you need "power-ups" a long the way. On your own you'll never make it. His grace is new each day. He gives us daily bread. His love is never ending. Hope in Him, the God of hope. That takes something, it takes action, effort. It means reminding yourself of all He's done, of His promises. It means being thankful. It means filling yourself up with His Word and when you've done all you can do, you stand. Ephesians 6 NASB ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. ¹³ Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. ¹⁴ Stand firm therefore....

"They Will Call Me By Name"

He looked right at me and said my name. Bret, my newly turned one year old, looked right at me this morning and said "mama." I knew he would soon. He's finally been saying the sound "ma" now but hadn't put it together yet that that was me. I felt this sudden shot of adrenaline, of excitement, of exhilaration. He knows me! He knows who I am! Finally after all these months of taking care of him, waking up with him, snuggling, comforting, cleaning, with out a thank you, he looks at me and says my name. And it's like he acknowledged everything. It is like he said thank you and love you in two simple syllables. "Mama" Wow. I'm still on a high from it.

It did make me think though, obviously, otherwise I would not be blogging. You know me well enough by now that of course it taught me something. It just made me think about how God must feel when we finally learn His name. When we finally acknowledge Him. Consequently what He must be feeling when we don't? How He longs for us to seek Him, and call Him by name. He spends all this time and effort, pursuing us. Calling us. How long has He been knocking at the door of my heart?

Rev 3 NASB  
²⁰ Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me.

One thing I am finding out is that He always answers when I call Him by name. The Bible is FULL of scriptures that say something to the effect of "I called Him by Name and He answered." Sometimes I don't think He responds the way we expect or want Him to but He always hears. He always listens and just like I got excited when Bret FINALLY acknowledged me for who I am I truly believe He gets excited too. I think He waits with anticipation. He waits for us to FINALLY acknowledge just WHO He is. Just His Name is such a huge deal in scripture. People have literally spent there entire careers studying it. 


You know what I really love about knowing all this? I don't have to wait until a time of crisis to call on Him. Just like Bret doesn't need to wait until he's hurting or needs something to call out to me. Don't you just love it when your kids want you just because, for no other reason then to be near you? Bret is my little lover boy. He loves to just be held. He would be content to lay his head on my shoulder all day long and I would be content to let him if I had the strength to carry him. The Father does have the strength to carry us! All day if we want. I love being able to call on Him, to feel His presence and His abiding love for me. He's there when I need Him, when I am hurting and when I'm at peace. When things are good I can share them with Him. I think calling on Him just to be near Him must be a special thing for Him to experience too or why else would we humans experience it? Maybe I am being too presumptious but I would challenge anyone who thinks so. I would ask them if they really know what I'm talking about. I want Him to say of me "Katie is my little lover girl, she is content to lay her head on my shoulder and be near me all day. I love to carry her around and be near her." Can you imagine?


Zachariah 13:9 NASB
They will call on My name,
And I will answer them;
I will say, ‘They are My people,’
And they will say, ‘The LORD is my God.’”

Not Missing Out After All

We have some really good friends who are missionaries in Costa Rica right now. They recently updated their blog and my heart is pulled in that direction. Let me give you a bit more of my back story.
I lived as a missionary for two years before I was married. I worked in places like Panama and the Philippines and I would be back in a red hot second if I could...or would I? I was praying about this very thing when I felt like God showed me a bit of my own heart. Ever had that happen? You think you know something about yourself and then BAM He shows you what you really look like.

I pictured myself back at that orphanage in the Philippines. I saw my self holding those babies that were crying out just to be held. Just to have a tiny bit of affection. I looked into those eyes, starving. Starving for nourishment, hungry for love. If I could do something for them I would but what I realized is, I wouldn't give up my life for them. I wouldn't give up my children for them. I wouldn't even give up my children's happiness or security for them. I used to think I would sell everything and leave everyone and go if He called me to. And perhaps I still would but it would be harder then I thought. I think that's ok. I didn't feel any sort of judgement from God only revelation. I've often felt discontent. Like there's more then just being a wife and mother and I'm stuck here up to my eyeballs in dirty diapers while the world needs saving. Yeah I write a nice little blog that I hope is encouraging and yeah more and more people read it every day and yeah my family is involved in church and our community and yes we do give money to missions but geez God NEEDS ME. I mean how can He possibly accomplish anything while I'm here and not...well anywhere but here? I've often felt a little bitter about this (can ya tell?). I've blamed my husband and GOD. I've also felt a little snobbish. Like yeah well I am a stay at home mom but I'm really called to more. But when I prayed for the billionth time about this to God He showed me that that's not really what I want after all. I really do love being a mom. I really do love staying home with my children. I even like homeschooling for crying out loud! Even if someone gave me a few thousand dollars today to go to that orphanage just to hold those babies I would really have think about it. Now when I see those children in my mind I see my own right beside them. I know there are families out there who live the missionary life and their children are apart of that. I think that's great and who knows? Maybe that could be my life one day but the point is. It's not really what I want. It's not really my desire. Not like before. I'd rather be here.

This is a very big deal for me. Huge. How many hours have I spent in despair, wrestling with feeling like I'm not fulfilling my "calling"? Sometimes I think we just get stuck with certain thoughts and feelings over something. I never even wanted children. I thought perhaps I would adopt a hundred of them but I never. EVER. wanted to give birth. Can you imagine?? No that just wasn't for me. If someone told me then that I'd have 3 children and a mini van by the time I turned 24 I would have laughed in their face. And then rebuked them in the name of Jesus! I had dreams. I had plans.

Maybe you are like me. Have you ever had a dream that didn't come true and you feel...well, bad about it? However that looks like for you. Bitterness, resentment, anger, disappointment, sadness, despair? Would you really bring that to the Father. I pray that He would shine His light on that and reveal the truth. I ask that He would show you your own heart like He did me. Would you ask Him to put a dream in your heart that's straight from Him. I want to fulfill one of God's desires. And for me that looks like me staying home raising my kids, spoiling my man, and running this house. It means being involved in my community and a lot of prayer. I have seen things a lot of people haven't. And some how I know it's because it has prepared me for something. I've seen starving children, families literally dieing of starvation and I know my children will be taught to be thankful for everything. I do have something to offer the Kingdom and I'm doing it. Right now, where God has called me. I'm not missing out on anything. I am on the "front lines" I am in the trenches. Any of you with young children know what I'm talking about.

He has put a love for the lost in my heart. It breaks for people who don't know Him or His love. That's not wasted in this life I have now. I will always have a heart for missions and I know one day I will go again. But I can rest and know that this is where I want to be. This is where He wants me to be. Praise God!

This is enough for me today:
“We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.” 1 John 4:16 NASB
Abide in Him today....

Dancing on the Clouds

I think it's safe to say I definitely tip to the side of super spirituality on a scale from non-spiritual to extremely spiritual.  I've often been concerned that this comes across really weird to most people. Even in this blog I see a pattern. I don't believe in coincidences and I look for God in everything...all the time. If this makes me super spiritual or wacky to some, well, so be it. I often struggle with the "reality" or lack there of, in this life. I recently had a couple of "super spiritual" experiences that have made me even more aware of just how fragile, and temporary this part of our life is. It's put everything in perspective. It's also put me in a bit of a funk. I can't explain it. It's like seeing life in technicolor and then going back to black and white.

I'm hungry for You, Lord. My love is Yours, You are my heart's desire. I live to know You more, God.

I often feel like I'm being a bit bizarre, a bit like my head is "stuck in the clouds." Even though I feel self conscious about this at times it doesn't really change anything. A friend recently reminded me that "aren't we supposed to be more spiritual anyway? Shouldn't more of us be that way? If you're super spirituality is over the top then it only evens the rest of us out." And then I think, "Yeah, that's right." It's not me, it's all of you duds. Haha, only kidding. I know a lot of us "in the clouds" crazy people get ourselves into trouble with all our out of this world thinking. But right now I'm really struggling with being grounded after floating on the clouds. Thankfully I really, really love the Bible. I really love it. It's the only book I know of that can be read over and over again, the same paragraph, and come a live every time with deeper and more powerful meaning. And it is my firm foundation.

It's in reading the Word that I find comfort for my struggle, which is kind of the point right?? Romans 8 (again I know) NASB
⁹ However, you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. But if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Him. ¹⁰ If Christ is in you, though the body is dead because of sin, yet the spirit is alive because of righteousness. ¹¹ But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you. ¹² So then, brethren, we are under obligation, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh— ¹³ for if you are living according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live. ¹⁴ For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. ¹⁵ For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!” ¹⁶ The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, ¹⁷ and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him.

 So I'm not so crazy after all. It's so good to know (I did seriously doubt it). My spirit has been brought to life and my flesh is dead. This body is dead. This life is not all there is. I am a "son of God" and so it's perfectly understandable that all I would want to do is cry "Father!" The Spirit Himself testifies with my spirit. Can you imagine? No wonder my feet lift off the ground when I think of it. How can you think of anything else?

Draw my heart to Yours, O God. Set my heart on fire. Hold my heart in love. Let Your presence over take my heart. Overwhelm me. Sweep me away.....

Falling On My Knees

I'll be honest I felt a little obligated to post today. So many of my blogger friends are posting today. Where they were. What they were doing. Really touching. But I didn't want to blog just to blog. I really wanted to sincerely mean it. Just like I do every other time. So I had decided I wasn't going to blog today...well God really moved on my heart and so here I am.

10 years ago I was 14. No one I knew was hurt in any of the attacks that day. My brother was in the army at that time and was deployed soon after. But he's home. Safe. He owns a successful business and has a beautiful family. So I wasn't really affected in the way those who were directly impacted were. Life just kind of kept going. I saw the movies, I tear up every year and have been just as frustrated as every other American with this war. I've prayed for our soldiers. I pray often for them and their families. I pray for our country and it's leaders. But I stand on the outside of it all, looking in, and knowing this life isn't really what I'm living for. There will always be a battle to fight. A war that needs winning. But what's it all about? What's actually real? Please don't get me wrong. I absolutely do not want to belittle anything about what happened on 9/11/2001 or anything that's happened since. All I mean is that none of that changes the truth. And the truth is I have to fall on my knees everyday. I have to surrender to Him everyday and offer all that I am and all that I have. In His presence I find hope, I find joy and peace. I'm so thankful that nothing and no one can change that. If, unlike me, you were impacted in a really big way that day, and if you're struggling, would you fall on your knees and give it to Him. He can comfort you like no one else. Even though war rages all around us, He has made peace for us on heaven and earth.

Colossians 1 NASB
¹³ For He rescued us from the domain of darkness, and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son, ¹⁴ in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.
 ¹⁵ He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. ¹⁶ For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things have been created through Him and for Him. ¹⁷ He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. ¹⁸ He is also head of the body, the church; and He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, so that He Himself will come to have first place in everything. ¹⁹ For it was the Father’s good pleasure for all the fullness to dwell in Him, ²⁰ and through Him to reconcile all things to Himself, having made peace through the blood of His cross; through Him, I say, whether things on earth or things in heaven. 

Do You Really Know?

Last night I had the awesome privilege to attend a worship service in our community called Metro Worship. It involves youth groups from all over Tulsa who get together and worship. It was awesome. The music was awesome, the whole idea behind it, getting together as One Body to celebrate our love for Jesus despite our differences, awesome.

Most of the music were songs speaking about love. His love for us, our love for Him. As I looked around at the students, hundreds of them, I wondered. Do they really know? Do they know what this whole love thing is about? Do I know? I so wanted to run up to a few and shake them by the shoulders and ask them in desperation, "Do you really know?" Now, of course, I didn't, wouldn't unless I really felt spurred on by the Lord but I don't think He would want me to do that either. He doesn't need me for that. But it really got the wheels turning.This event combined with a couple of recent conversations with a few friends of mine has inspired this blog post.

I wish people would just give Him a chance. You know the kind of people I'm talking about. You probably have family or friends or coworkers who have decided against God. They may have had an inaccurate impression or a bad experience or circumstance that has caused them to judge God in a way He is not to be judged and for whatever reason they've said "no" to Him. I'm not saying these people are unreachable, in fact my hope and faith is that they are not. But, it's these people my heart breaks for the most. I care about those who have never heard His name. I was a missionary for 2 years so my heart is heavily burdened for those people. But right now, my heart breaks for those who think they know what's going on, who think they know all about God and have rejected Him. I just want to scream at the injustice of it. I honestly believe that if a person has a true encounter, if they totally surrender...they could never go back. We all make mistakes and we all probably have a tendency to "backslide" but you can't deny the life altering change that takes place after being exposed to the magnitude of love He has for you.

I want to look all of these people in the face and say, "Just give Him a chance. Test Him and see that He is who He says He is. It's ok to do that. I think that's what He meant when He said "Test me." He didn't mean go jump off a cliff and see if I'll catch you. I believe He meant "Give me a chance!" Let go of your pride or what you think you know and cry out to Him. See if He doesn't change your life. He already knows all there is to know about you. He knows your heart. He knows the secret things, that you don't really like to read the Bible, that you spend most of your time running from Him, or that you truly wish harm on another person. He knows you lie, you cheat, you steal, He knows it all and still He loves you. Why not be completely honest with him? He's the one person you can be honest with because He knows anyway. Why not experience a true honest relationship with someone? He loves you. Just give Him a chance. What do you have to loose?"

I know this is kind of heavy. But I feel responsible, a bit, for anyone who just doesn't know. I mean what is this life? Why are we here? What's the point? Can you imagine what it must be like to not know? To get up, go to work, eat, go to bed? That's not life! He is an experiential God. He wants you to know Him. He hasn't hidden himself. He wants to talk to you. He wants you to talk to Him. Why? Why does He delight in me so? Who am I? I don't understand it all. We sang last night the words, "When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory....and I realize how great Your affections are for me." This is what happens when we get close to Him. All those things that kept us away from Him are totally eclipsed by glory, by Him. They become nothing!

Romans 8 NASB

¹⁸ For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

So what do we do? Since rare are those opportunities to literally shake and yell at person and actually have them get anything you're talking about. Well I think we trust Him. I'm pretty confident it's a priority for Him. We pray. I've often felt a bit futile while praying for others. I've often felt like, "well doesn't it all boil down to that person making a choice?" The short answer is "Yes" but He is moved by our prayers and nothing is impossible for them that believe. This I know. And we stay burdened for those who have yet to have a true encounter with His love. It's kind of the point. If we stay awake, opportunities will present themselves. And finally, we hope. This brings me back to Romans 8 in the NASB

²⁴ For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees? ²⁵ But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.

Love This

Romans 8:36-39

Have you ever felt like a particular verse or chapter in the Bible was written specifically for you? It's probably a bit vain of me to think that Romans 8 was written just for me but I kind of do. Don't get me wrong. I'm glad other people can get something out of it too but I really feel like I can take ownership of it. I think this is a good thing. I think we should  all learn to read the Bible as if God was speaking it straight to us, individually, like there is no one else in the world. Because...He kind of is.

Anyway so often I find myself in Romans 8. I really love every bit of it. No matter what I'm going through I can pick up this chapter and wrap it around myself like a warm blanket. I thought it would probably be a good thing to journal about. And since this is my journal you all get to read it :) Nice huh?

It would probably make more since to start with verse one but for those of you who know me, you know I'm a bit backward anyway, so I thought I'd start at the end.

Romans 8 NASB

³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, ³⁹ nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. 

I really like what the Message says at the end of verse 39 too: absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us. 

What powerful imagery! Imagine a hug from Jesus so encompassing, so tight that nothing could separate us or get in between us. Really all God ever had to do to show us love was to send His Son. And. He. Did. Just saying the Name. Jesus. It's saying, "God loves me." You ask Him if He loves you and He says, "Jesus." That is so powerful. Are you convinced of it? For me, this is faith. Being fully convinced of God's love for me. If I can be sure of that, then nothing else matters. Why worry about anything? This can be easier said then done. I know, but for me, it's truth. All I have to do is remind myself of it or even read this verse and I feel it like a crashing wave against my soul. His love is stronger then anything that would try to rip me away from Him, even myself. It makes me just want to give up everything for Him...which kind of brings us to verses 36 and 37, which I know in and of itself can be hard for some to bear.

Romans 8 NASB
 ³⁶ Just as it is written,
   “FOR YOUR SAKE WE ARE BEING PUT TO DEATH ALL DAY LONG;
WE WERE CONSIDERED AS SHEEP TO BE SLAUGHTERED.”
 ³⁷ But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us.
And in the MSG:
   They kill us in cold blood because they hate you.
   We're sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one.
None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. 

When you put into context with all that He has done for us, it makes these verses a little easier to swallow. When you remember, Jesus and what that means it makes it a lot easier. In fact you can begin to feel the same. We have to get it through our heads that this life is...well...it sucks. Ok? It's not fair. There is darkness. There is death, and sickness, and poverty, and starving children and there is real evil out there. There are real evil people. Some know this in ways that I never want to know. Some have no idea. It is all working together to rip us apart. By "us" I mean ourselves and the Father. I mean ourselves and each other. His body. But we have to read on and see that what He did is bigger then that. Jesus is bigger then anything that would try to separate us. And that? That is fact. That is hope. That is faith. That is His all encompassing, all consuming, never failing, always present, in the good times and bad. Love. For. You. See yourself in His arms and read verse 38 and 39 again. Hear Him whisper that name, Jesus, in your ear and know that He was sent just for you. Nothing can separate you from Him.

Listen to His Heartbeat

I found this quote today. I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be from a mother to her baby. Probably to hang in a nursery. I love the sentiment. It is totally beautiful. But when I read it, it was the Father's voice I heard. I wish I could make everyone see how much God loves them. Do you know the strength of His love for you? Close your eyes, be quiet and listen for His heart beat. He is so near. Can you feel His pulse? His heart beats for you. You can hear it from the inside.

Starting from scratch, he made the entire human race and made the earth hospitable, with plenty of time and space for living so we could seek after God, and not just grope around in the dark but actually find him. He doesn't play hide-and-seek with us. He's not remote; he's near. We live and move in him, can't get away from him! One of your poets said it well: 'We're the God-created.' 
Acts 17 MSG

I AM FREE

A very good friend of mine recently shared this and it so touched me that I feel absolutely compelled to share.

She writes.....

New revelation floods my heart in waves.

The blood of Christ!!!

I am redeemed by the blood of Christ!!! Nothing owns me, I am in bondage to no one, no thing, anymore. I am free!

I am cleansed by the blood of Christ. All my sin. Every bit of it. All my pain, my habits, my pride, the voices in my head, my tendencies, my failures, my iniquities, my generational curses, my wicked thoughts, my rebellion, my shame, my deception, my anger, my rage, my insecurities, my confusion, my selfishness, my blindness. My thoughts of myself, my thoughts of others, every possible aspect of my life that carries decay, that is fallen...all of it. His blood covers it!!! I am FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why have I not seen this before??!!? Why did I think it had all to do with ME? Me always me, striving to get it, to get with it...when it was this simple. The blood of Christ, a free gift, paid for it all. I don't need years and years of counseling and mental adjustments to get over all my problems. I just need to put all my trust in the ever powerful, perfect blood of Christ!!! It truly speaks a better word than any other empty promise of freedom and happiness, gained through any other philosophy, state of mind or relationship. The blood of Christ. Covers it all, ties the knots that came untied in the Fall and keep coming undone in every aspect of my life ever since.

Through forgiveness, His and then mine, because of Christ's blood shed, I can walk every single minute of every day in a state of freedom. No longer chained to my inadequacies, my failures, my tendencies, my habits, my problems...it's the blood of Christ that makes me whole. It is finished, it is done, IT ALREADY HAPPENED!!! Now all I need do is continue the process of trust in this amazing, complete sacrifice and be perfected through faith in Him. I have heard of the blood of Christ since I was born...today I am seeing its power revealed.

Why haven't I seen this before?!!?

Today my soul takes hold of more than I have ever received before. Thank you Jesus!!!!!!!!!

This priceless, completely adequate gift takes every single negative about me, body, soul and spirit, and covers every aspect of each impurity and abnormality with wholeness...sin has lost its power, the curse is broken, and my soul is free.

This is no theory!!! 

Each day can only be a living out of this unfathomable truth. Any other reliance and hope, is deception and needless desert wandering. What Christ accomplished on the Cross I can live out every single day in continuously new dimensions. It all rests on this, and yes, I CAN REST ON IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PRAISE GOD!!!

Praise Him for His blessed sacrifice.

Praise Him for His holy pure Son!!

Praise Jesus for His humble obedience to death on the cross. Your love!!! Your great love!!! For God SO loved the world, He LOVES us sinful creatures!!!...He gave You, Jesus, His Isaac, to death on a cross, that whoever of us sinners believed in the power of that one Great act, would be set free through relationship with You, which is Eternal life!!!

Praise Him who took my inherited sin and my own sinful choices in his own body so I could be free!

What a mystery! Yet how simple, how perfect, how clear. Yes!, the blood of Christ cleanses me from all sin.

Every aspect of my life that has death and decay and is marred by sin His blood covers with new life. The soul that sins must die. The wages of sin is death...yet Christ's blood cancels out all death, swallows it alive! and brings LIFE!!! ABUNDANT!!!

Praise God, I can enjoy this revelation in endless, revelatory ways. What joy in these humble, true reflections on a sacrifice not my own...a sacrifice that enables me to sacrifice for others. A love that comes from Divinity and plays itself out for others in my own life, an eternal echo of gorgeous beauty.

I can take hold of this! I can take hold of it. 

Debora Long

He Heard My Voice

Any given morning around here goes something like this. I wake up to the smell of dirty diapers and the sounds of screaming babies. Sound familiar to anyone? This morning started a bit earlier then usual and so of course I'm in a less then delightful mood. Make the coffee. Pour the cereal. And for me and my youngest I make a veggie juice. My house by the way is pretty much a wreck and I've got a super busy day ahead of me. Immediately after breakfast I send the kiddos out to play. I'm pretty sure my neighbors hate me because of how loud they are so early in the morning but...well I don't really care. Not really. I do my best to remind them to be as quiet as possible but the inevitable happens. One of them shrieks as loud as possible and screams while they run to the door. Today it was my 2 year old, Alex. He fell and "bunk my chin and my hand mamma." Here's the deal. This kid is tough. Not just your normal average tough but he's pretty stinking hard core. He's constantly experimenting with gravity. He rarely hurts himself enough to cause tears and even then by the time he runs to me to tell me about it he's over it. So this morning when he runs to me screaming his brains out and tells me he hurt his chin and his hand he's pretty much over it by the time he finishes explaining what happened. I give him a sympathetic "ahh are you ok?" and he says "yeah, I ok mamma." He darts off to the next adventure. Even though Alex is pretty tough I'm sure I'm not the only mom out there who's done this. Your child falls, cries, runs to you, and you hug them or kiss them and it's all better. Now nothing we do is exactly scientific right? It just somehow magically makes them feel better to tell mamma.

I'd like to strongly suggest the idea that it's the same way with our Father. We go through things, we get our feelings hurt or maybe even physically are hurting, have you told Him about it? Sometimes, at least for me, I feel like my thing really isn't worth going to Him about. Or sometimes it's even Him I'm upset with! Does He care? And doesn't He already know what I'm thinking and feeling anyway? So what's the point? The point is, when we tell Him, when we run to Him crying, when we know He hears, it just makes it better somehow. A lot of the time nothing about our circumstances change. How does it work? I don't know. I just know that when I cry out to Him, when I'm totally honest about my situation and my feelings, I know He hears. I know He's sympathetic. Sometimes it's me who's wrong...ok most of the time it's me who's wrong but just getting His opinion about it is pretty powerful. Just letting Him know makes me feel better.


So often this becomes a battle of pride doesn't it? Can I trust Him with my stuff? And to think I can't trust Him kind of means I don't think He's big enough, it kind of comes back to me thinking I'm capable of living this life on my own. I don't know about you, but that's not where I want to be. It's just so not worth it.

Psalm 18 NASB
⁶ In my distress I called upon the LORD,
And cried to my God for help;
He heard my voice out of His temple,
And my cry for help before Him came into His ears.
....

But the LORD was my stay.
¹⁹ He brought me forth also into a broad place;
He rescued me, because He delighted in me.